October 2003 The Megaphone Page 8
Can you hear me now?
Dear Cyberjockey: SEVERAL PEOPLE HAVE SAID THAT TYPING E-MAIL IN ALL CAPS IS SCREAMING. I LIKE TYPING IN ALL CAPS. IT SAVES KEYSTROKES, AND I CAN READ IT. I REFUSE TO STOP. I WANT TO KNOW WHO CAME UP WITH THE IDEA IT WAS SCREAMING. - CAPITAL OFFENSE
Dear Cap: Hey! Keep it down! Some of our Den readers usually have hangovers, and you're not making it any easier on them.
See how your question looks? You ARE screaming, pal. It's hard on the eyes, and the only purpose it serves is making your e-mail correspondents think you're a grumpy pinhead ranting about whatever comes to mind.
And who decided caps were bad? You might as well ask who decided it's wrong to eat mashed potatoes with your feet or make rude noises during a funeral. It's part of an etiquette -- in this case "Netiquette" -- that continues to evolve as the Internet culture does.
Nobody out in the big, blue nowhere cares that you may have trouble seeing your own typing. All they see -- before they click "Delete" -- is somebody who can't play by the rules. Try using all lowercase and increasing the point size on your e-mail program so you can see what you're typing. In Netscape, go to the Edit menu to call up the Preferences dialog. Under Appearance, pick Fonts. In Outlook Express, go to the Tools menu and open the Options dialog, where you'll click on the Compose tab to fiddle with your outgoing mail and the Read tab (then the Fonts button) to fix the incoming mail's appearance.
I found a pretty decent e-mail etiquette guide at www.kassj.com/netiquette/. Use it.
The arrow of your ways
Dear Cyberwocky: I hate those little arrows that Windows puts on your desktop shortcuts. I have always used TweakUI to take care of this problem, but recently my computer burped, and now I have the arrows back. - Broken Arrow
Dear Broken: Needless to say, they tick a lot of other people off, too, so it's no surprise that one of the most requested cosmetic changes to the desktop is an arrow-ectomy.
TweakUI, the handy little annoyance-fixer developed - but not supported - by Microsoft, was a great way to dump the arrows as well as take care of several other irritating user-interface design goofs. With the subtlety of a steamroller, however, a recent Critical Update patch hammered that hack, and the arrows came back.
You can either live with them or take a chance on killing your computer by fiddling with the Registry. Come on, you weenie, don't be afraid. You know you want to do it.
Choose Run from the Start menu and type in Regedit. Once it starts, open the Edit menu and select Find. Look for "IsShortcut" (Leave the quotes off, Fester), and delete every instance of it. Did I mention you should back up the Registry first in case you do something stupid? Well, too late now. Shut down and restart. Either the problem will have gone away . . . or you will be the proud owner of a $2,000 paperweight. Either way, you won't have to worry about those nasty little arrows.
IncrediMail is watching
Dear Cyberwocky: I just love using IncrediMail for my mail service. Some people claim they cannot open attachments I send them. Others say they are getting blank messages. How could I overcome the problem? - IncrediPerson
Dear IncrediPerson: Ah, yes . . . IncrediMail . . . more feature-laden software that seduces people into spending inordinate amounts of time tweaking various options for only marginal gains in productivity. Word is bad enough, but IncrediMail? If you're going to run dumb programs like that, you're going to run into trouble. Most consider it "fritterware" these days. The best option, of course, would be to uninstall it. You'll lose all your pretty formatting, but at least they'll be able to read your letters. Wise up and start using text-only e-mail. Your friends will appreciate it, and your computer will too. Sheesh...
BTW, those of you using Incredimail, bet you didn't know it is full of Spyware? Incredimail clearly states the following in their Privacy Policy: "IncrediMail may gather information related generally to Users' use of the Software, Service, and Site including without limitation: The number of Messages that a User sends; The number of Messages that are read; What elements of the Service are most often used; User log-in dates and time; and Message size data." Rest easy -- knowing IncrediMail is watching.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Send your serious and not so serious computer questions to Dear Cyberwocky . . . at <cyberwocky@snicker.com> . . . who knows, you might even get a personal reply . . . better yet, you might read your answer here . . . if you can find your way back.
Cyberwocky
Back to the Megaphone Page