May 2005 The Megaphone Page 5
How Does It Feel To Be Old
The
other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old.
I
was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing
my
reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that
it
was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her
know.
Old
age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in
my
life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body!
I
sometime despair over my body-the wrinkles, the baggy eyes,
skin
spots and bumps, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken
aback
by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't
agonize
over those things for long.
I
would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life,
my
loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged,
I've
become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've
become
my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie,
or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement fountain that I
didn't need, but looks so avant-garde on my patio.
I
am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too
many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great
freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is
it if I choose to read until
I
will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body,
and will dive into
the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the
pitying glances
from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am
sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just
as well forgotten
-- and I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the
years my heart has been broken. How can your heart
not break when you
lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even
when a beloved pet
gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give
us strength and
understanding and compassion. A heart never broken
is pristine and
sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to
have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray or
even lost forever,
and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched
into deep groove
on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have
died before their
hair could turn silver. I can say "No," and mean it.
I can say
"Yes," and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be
positive. You care
less about what other people think. I don't question
myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your
question, I like being old. It has set me free. I
like the person I
have become. I am not going to live forever, but
while I am still
here, I will not waste time lamenting what could
have been, or
worrying about what will be.
And
I shall eat dessert every single day.
Submitted by . . .
Ann (Southern) Singleton '54 and Jerry McClish '56
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